Please note that this post has now been updated and is fully edited.
Things are becoming steadily worse at home. Tensions are high and fights are often. I wish we were back at camp, where things were so much simpler. I have heaps of school work due in the upcoming weeks and I don’t know how to deal with it all. I need help but finding it from my parents just doesn’t work. At home, everyone is overreacting and on edge. I feel as if I’m trapped on an iceberg in the middle of the desert. I keep thinking back to Thursday night, when we watched movies and played games. We were all having so much fun and the campfire was awesome. I wish I was still there as it was definitely one of my most favourite nights.
I wish I could tell someone close to me about my blog, but I don’t think that they would understand. I think that I would be judged for it and that people wouldn’t approve or understand this blog. I’m struggling to write creatively and it hurts. I didn’t know that my escapism through writing would vanish so quickly, especially when I need it the most. It’s like all my creativity is blocked up and in a place no-one would ever dare to venture into.
My friend Holly is stressing me out. We used to be so close and now I fear that we may never be close friends again. I keep finding myself extremely irritable around her and have been confirmed by others that they are feeling the same way. I don’t know whether I’m just being unreasonable or if the issue is deeper than that. I want to be friends with her, how I used to be friends but it just doesn’t feel right anymore.
Writing all of this down is helping so much and with each sentence it feels if a slight weight has been lifted off my chest. However, I still have a very long way to go until I’m back to being my normal self again. I feel trapped and confined in my home. I’m not allowed out at certain parts of the day, can’t go anywhere by myself. I can’t even have my computer or phone in my room! All of these things anger me so much as the freedom I had previously experienced for one of the first times in my life is now gone. I really want to go for a run tomorrow but I doubt I’m going to be allowed.
Today I listened to some great music, which put me in a much better mood than before. I can’t believe that you though I wasn’t a music person! Music is literally a key part of my existence. It helps me escape my feelings. I feel like there is something so special about music. It provides different things for different people and for me it’s a way of escapism. I’m so tired from camp, so hopefully I’m just hallucinating about the conditions here and they will remarkably improve once I get enough sleep. Currently, I just feel like collapsing into bed and spending the rest of my life there.
I miss you already. I feel as if I have known you for many years and now that you’re gone, a piece of me is missing. I feel kind of bad for saying this, but I wish I was still at camp. Things aren’t super great at home and I feel lonely. My sister has barely talked to me and keeps getting upset over the smallest things. I have become a turtle, attempting and failing to hide into my shell. I feel super down and tired. You probably found me weird and awkward and I wish we could be closer than we currently are. This camp has brought our friendship together even though it wasn’t very long. I understand you completely. I wish I was back with the light-hearted attitude of camp. Here at home, I feel trapped and alone. There are so many things I want to say to you but I don’t think you would understand. The photograph I took of you shared so many unspoken feelings. I understand the abyss and darkness you are feeling and wish I was brave enough to speak up about it. I already miss our conversations and the social awkwardness that we experienced. I’m so clingy and I crave friendship. You worry me, some of our friends don’t seem that bothered when you hardly talk or eat but it freaks me out and I don’t know how to help. I’m so disappointed in myself. I’ve wasted so much time and I fear that I will continue to do so for a long period of time. Whilst being away on this camp I’ve experienced a freedom that I have never felt before. I want to go back to being relaxed, chill and not monitoring everything that I want and need to say. My family is like a cage and I feel trapped and confined in it. You and the camp provided a blissful release but now I’m back to normal.
I feel as though if you ever read this you would be creeped out by this. So in case of this ever happening, I’m sorry, this is a coping mechanism for myself. I’ve been writing to various people for a while but moved on. This just feels right.
To explain this; I’ve decided to create a new series where I write honestly to a friend of mine. For the purpose of this being anonymous, I have changed the names of everyone in this story. This series will be very raw and honest. I hope to continue it for a while and hope you guys will like it. Some quick background information that you might need –
I have just been away on a 7 day school camp
I’m becoming increasingly awkward and silent
I’m finding it harder and harder to express my feelings
This series is a way for me to write honestly and attempt to overcome writers block
Skye and I aren’t super close friends but I feel a connection that I don’t truly understand and need to explore
Skye has short brown hair with blonde highlights, bright blue eyes, is about an average height for a fifteen year old
This series will include a number of various mediums such as –
I hope you enjoy and please comment down below your thoughts for this series (and if you want it to continue). I hope I don’t regret this!
Hi guys, I found this really interesting poetry prompt that I decided to undertake. I really enjoyed it. Feel free to write a poem based off this prompt. I would love to see what you guys come up with and will link your blog in this post. ALSO! THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOOO (x 1 million o’s) MUCH FOR 100 FOLLOWERS (actually, more now, cough, cough)!!!!!! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST AND I LOVE YOU ALL! Be prepared for a more in-depth post when I stop quite literally drowning in assignments. OXOXOXOXO
ON WITH THE POEM AND THE PROMPT –
Who was the last person you texted? Write a five line poem to that person.
Hi again, it’s me,
I’m lonely and tired,
I need some company,
Oh, you’re busy,
Ok that’s totally fine with me . . .
*Name changed for privacy reasons. Though I doubt she’ll ever see this 🙂
LOVE YOU ALL (not in a creepy way 🙂 )
kmlifeincolourwordpress created her own poem to this prompt. You can check out here awesome poem here –