Our Love was Nothing but a Joke to You

It all started by sending jokes,

Laughing at our terrible sense of humour,

For her it stopped,

But for me,

I began to fall in love.

 

I stressed about what to send her,

My style of text,

My language used,

I didn’t want to seem fake,

I was in love,

You see, first opinions matter.

 

The other day the messages stopped,

I waited for hours,

Tapping at my phone,

Impatiently,

It seemed my love had withered,

And died.

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Where I’ve been and being honest

Fuck this is going to be hard.

 

I haven’t been honest with you guys because I’m terrified it will change your opinions of me, I’ll lose likes (I know it’s a material object) and all that crap but after being fake and losing all motivation to blog, it’s about time I come clean.

I have depression, I am depressed and I am fighting so many battles right now. I am not officially diagnosed (don’t @ me) but I’m pretty sure it’s depression when you can tick off all the symptoms and want to die.

I hate myself, I despise myself and everything I stand for and I am not okay. It is not fair for my to lie to myself. If I lose people due to this post so be it. I am fed up of being this happy person that doesn’t exist. Depression is and will always be an essence of me and it’s about time I deal with it.

Yes I will be deleting this post and write a less terrible and rambling one later but after reading some news articles and dealing with stigma and crap today and I am fed up with staying silent.

Remember, if you are feeling suicidal you are not alone and feel free to email me because I am going through the exact same thing and will always listen.

thanks,

your depressed poet,

xx

I wish I could give my life

 

i wish I could give my life,

to someone who deserves it,

but it doesnt work that way,

life sucks but it is okay.

 

 

heyy feeling a bit more unstable at the moment. I couldn’t sleep last night, the voices were chattering in my head again. The cuts on my ankles are growing and I feel myself collapsing in on myself. But I am okay.

love you all,

you heavy burdened poet,

xx

Cuts

i started 2019 by cutting

because im a hopeless girl

lost in the complexities

of the human world

 

 

hey guys. Trying not to cry right now. I promised myself 2019 would be a better year but yesterday I kept making people upset. I’m such a shitty person and I can’t do this anymore. I’m scared. So so so scared. The cuts on my wrists are stinging, a fresh reminder of the disaster that I am.

I hope you all started 2019 better than I did.

 

love you all,

your scared and desperate poet,

xx

He rested his head on my shoulder

He rested his head on my shoulder,

Tears trickling down his chin,

‘Twas him who broke my heart,

It was but on a whim

 

hey guys. It’s that time again, where my creative juices have dried up and my poetry becomes pretty shitty. Fingers crossed I’ll get out some more decent poems before the end of the year. Also, if anyone feels like potentially collaborating on a short story (or long story) drop your email down below and I’ll add you to a google docs or something.

 

love you all,

your exceedingly crappy poet,

xx